Best of Enemies
by VoidStar
Summary: Kid angsts over a lost rival. Not yuri yet, but it's headed there. ^_- And the HTML has been fixed (thanks to Squalldaman for pointing this out).


All usual disclaimer warnings apply: I don't own CC, but I'm also broke, so I'm not worth suing. Besides, I'm doing this for love of the game! Of course, the original writing in this fanfic _does_ belong to me. Plagiarism will be countered with some form of humiliating violation. Okay, just kidding; it'll be met with general anger and whatever legal action it takes to put an end to it. That out of the way, on with the show!

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"Best of Enemies"   
by VoidStar   
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"Break me from my injured past   
And make me over in your arms   
The pain that guided me before   
Has no comfort anymore   
Let me enter in"   
--October Project, "Falling Farther In"

  


I've been abandoned.

Ya wouldn't know it, at first glance. I've got plenty of friends. In a lotta ways, I'm less alone now than I've ever been. But I don't really feel that way. It sounds weird, yeah, but it's like I've been deserted. When my friends celebrate our victory, I can't join in no matter how hard I try. For them, the war's over. They've moved on with their lives. Life's left me behind, an' the harder I try to catch up, the more I get pushed back.

So what's missing? What's my bloody problem?

In a word: closure. I mean, what did I get outta all of this? Why'd I get involved to begin with? It wasn't even my choice! First bein' made by some princess, then Lynx burnin' down the orphanage--I got pulled along like a fish on a line. All I ever wanted was revenge. I just wanted to get back at Lynx for killin' people I cared about. But I can't even trust that! That's just as much a tug on the line as bein' put in the right place to save Serge. What're my real motives? What's _me_ an' not somethin' that got put into me to serve a "higher purpose?"

Almost nothin'. Yeah, Lynx got his just desserts. Yeah, I helped defeat a force that woulda ripped the world to pieces. But it was never really my fight--an' now that it's all over, what do I have to live for?

I can think of one thing, an' it's gone.

I never really thought about it before, when all the fightin' was still goin' on, 'cause I just considered her part of my hatred for Lynx. She was his partner in crime an' all. But in hindsight, somethin' occurs to me--I didn't even remember her bein' there. When I met her in Viper Manor, it was like the first time. Gotta admit, it wasn't the best first impression.

In other words, I hated her damned guts. Callin' a gel a dog ain't exactly the best way to get on her good side.

Normally with me, that'd be it: hate's hate, an' there's no in between about it. But there was always somethin' different about Harle, even if I didn't notice it at first. Sounds funny, maybe, but I really _enjoyed_ hatin' her, an' lookin' back on it I know why--it was a real emotion. It was somethin' spontaneous. It was _me._ Harle gave me somethin' I could actually call my own, an' that's more than I can say about most of my friends.

I never admitted it to anyone--Hell, not even to myself--but she was important to me. An' now that she's gone, I'm startin' to realize just how much. But what would I do if she came back? What would I say? Maybe I'd just forget alla' this an' try to kill her.

Maybe I'd beg her not to leave me again. Maybe I'd....ah, what's the damned point in wonderin', anyway....she ain't comin' back.

I still can't stop thinkin' about her, though.

Did she feel the same way? Was I important to her at all, or just another victim? Was I any different from all the other humans, or just another face in the horde? A lotta the times we saw each other, I wasn't exactly in the best state of mind to judge. I do remember, though--just barely--that she was there when I was down for the count 'cause of Lynx's poison. She musta snuck in, 'cause no one else ever said anything about it. Wouldn't've been hard for her, but why go to the effort at all....unless....

Shit, if I was important to her too, why'd she leave? Why'd she have to be like all the rest? Didn't she realize what'd happen? I'm goin' insane, an' it's all her bloody fault! Damn her....damn her.

I wish she'd come back.


End file.
